A Rumor

When I was in elementary school, I remember there was this evil rumor circulating the halls and the playground. This one wasn’t about who was “going out with” Justin Brown or about the empty haunted house across the street. Those were certainly happening, but in an era when you think nothing about your future, this piece of gossip shattered my entire view of what it meant to be an adult.

High school had no recess.

It was shocking. As a 9 year old girl, I could never wrap my mind around a school day without recess. Don’t they want to get outside? Do adults even like to play? How will I ever sit still indoors for an entire day? I was hurt that our school systems would tease us with recess as kids and then snatch it away from us to be replaced with rigorous studies and stuffy classrooms. And yet once I got to high school, I realized I had no desire for recess. In fact, I imagine that recess with hundreds of teenagers would turn into something that resembled our junior high dances. Boys to the right of the gym, girls to the left.

When unbelievers consider becoming a Christian, they’re often overwhelmed at the sacrifices they have to make. I have to give up what? Why do I have to follow all of these rules? Marriage is no different. When you’re young and single, you imagine marriage as being the most dull and repressive thing imaginable. And yet when you get here, you find that your whole world has shifted. Rather than follow your own desires, you desire to do the will of the Lord. Rather than date around because you feel popular, you pledge yourself to hanging out with the same person every day for life. Weird, right?

I’m finding that as we grow and enter new phases in life, our expectations and desires shift accordingly. And I’m sure that will hold true. Right now, the idea of playing on the floor with a 2 year old sounds about as fun as stabbing myself with a fork. All I envision is a lack of time to myself, baby tears (and my tears), and really hard wood floors. And yet I know that once we take that step, we’ll somehow be ready. When our kids leave the house, we’ll be ready for that. And while recess is probably not ever in the cards for us, there’s a lot of freedom in every single stage of life.

It just won’t always look the way we think it should.

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4 thoughts on “A Rumor”

  1. Hi there.

    I'm a blogger and wanted to say I love your blog. I read it almost everyday and catch up on missed days. Yesterday I was talking with a few other fellow bloggers and we were discussing how we love when we get comments. I wanted you to know that I always have a response or thought after reading this blog, even if they aren't posted publicly. I especially loved this post. As a single person, I often think about the supposed "freedoms" I think I might lose in marriage. But it's so true. Each stage is different and offers different types of blessings.

    thanks for sharing


  2. I think I rebelled against the “no recess” idea in high school by playing football. In college I would skip classes to play disc golf. And in my post graduate/career-centered world, I have a feeling I might need to go play golf with some clients on particularly nice days. Viva La Recess!

    Don’t worry, though. I won’t be applying this mentality to “dating around” when I’m married.

  3. When I was young and single (back in the dark ages) I never thought of marriage as being dull and repressive. I got married while still in college because I saw it as: “I get to spend the rest of my life with my best friend!”

    And so I have.

    But you’re right, Jen, that children change everything. I was prepared for my wife’s mothering instincts, but I was surprised by the depth of my own feelings. Having a son also gave me a new appreciation for some aspects of the Christian faith.

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