There are few days during your first year if marriage during which you feel an actual shift. Most days are plagued with intense battles and victories too tiny to recognize. But this day, our victory is sweet.
We used to fight. A lot. Mostly because we’re both insanely stubborn people and giving any ground signified istant defeat. White flags raised. Honor lost. But gradually, we’ve become better at disagreeing, better at talking things through, better at game nights. For you see, game nights were our weakest link. My husband would approach them as if he were approaching WWIII, only playing to win, every opponent a bug to be crushed. And yet we’ve somehow paved a way, through literal sweat and tears, to a victory. On a New Years Eve game night the girls dominated. And so did my husband.
We won. In a huge way. Twice. The girls saw through every sports reference, battled through names we’d never heard of, and fought our way through to a big win. But instead of accusing us of cheating simply because he lost – yes, it really used to happen – my husband complimented us.
All the girls looked to me for affirmation ‘Is Kyle being sarcastic? Is he inadvertently making fools of us while we celebrate victory? Should we feel scared?’ And I got to look on, proud as I could be, at his changed demeanor. He said we were good. And he meant it.
Kyle fights. We still fight. But somewhere in the last two years he’s turned his sword toward things that are not of this world. Sure he still gets mad about silly things and I’ll annoyingly remind him of our victory for the next 11 months and 29 days, but our marriage saw a victory this week. And for that I am thankful.