I know Jen has talked a lot on here about what a poor gift giver she is and how much she struggles with it but I’d like to talk a little bit about being on the other side of it.
At the beginning of our relationship I think I viewed this as an inadequacy. Why doesn’t she get me good gifts after I send her on week-long scavenger hunts? I looked at it as a manifestation of where her love for me was coming up short instead of realizing it just wasn’t part of her make-up.
Jen is, and you have to understand this completely to understand where I’m coming from, the most abstractly creative person I know. That is, she can create and draw ideas and concepts in her head and then build those ideas into real-life material objects. I would say for every craft or project she makes she probably has twenty others that never make it out of her head. It’s just how she’s wired. I could barely think this sentence out in my head before typing it and she’s drawing 3D objects.
So for her to show me love is for her to say, “hey, I had this idea for our apartment” or “why don’t you do this with your blog” or “let’s handle our family in this way” because I know she’s thinking upon such things. The problem with deadline gifts is that the ideas have to come to her. She can’t force them. They just…happen. Trust me, I don’t understand it any more than you do.
So to you my wife, thank you for helping me learn that you don’t giftFAIL because you don’t love me, but rather because the ideas didn’t come at the appropriate time. And thank you for showing me that the older we get, the less it matters, and the more we must focus on the Lord rather than each other.