Last week one of my old friends (not “long in the tooth” old but more like “we did stupid stuff in college and traveled Europe with nothing more than a backpack and now we talk about marriage and kids” old) asked me what Jen and I struggle with most. My first 55 thoughts ranged from “she likes weird TV shows” to “try to not kill each other” but I settled on something else….

Something we struggle with (and always have, as many of you can attest) is that we’re prone to let minuscule squabbles turn into full-blown fights (or “domestics” as some of our friends call them) rather quickly. We can go from “how come we don’t have any milk?” to “you have so many unseemly character flaws I don’t even know where to start belittling you” faster than Kate Gosselin can sign up for another reality TV show.

I guess on a scale of 0 to OJ Simpson we fall somewhere on the innocent side of things. But words are powerful and power can change the course of lives. James says the noise emitting from our mouths can be like a fire burning down acres and acres of trees. He compares it to guiding a ship through the sea, it controls everything, it blesses and curses. We’re just not always good at the blessing part right now.

So my friend laughed at me as if to say “you aren’t the only one, brother.” I know this and yet I can’t help but want to be better, to not struggle with unsightly flaws and embarrassing shortcomings. But that’s marriage, it seems to exacerbate those flaws and shortcomings to the point that you wonder why nobody ever told you about them before. That’s why it’s beautiful though, because it is refining and refurbishing, even if you have to go through the fire along the way.

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I'm an aspiring freelance writer and blogger (which doesn't make a ton of sense when you think about it). I started a blog called Our Marriage Project and one about OSU called Pistols Firing. I love both of them, and I love my wife. And I love Kevin Durant, Explosions in the Sky, Tim Riggins, Blue Moon ale, Twitter, and the state of Georgia.

5 thoughts on ““Domestics””

  1. Okay, bear with me… this really is a compliment even though it is masquerading as rude realization….

    I'm so glad you guys aren't perfect. I think for so long I have placed you two up on a pedestal because you guys seem to do everything perfectly with minimal flaw. These types of posts (where you show your vulnerability as a couple) are my favorite, though. It makes marriage real and no longer gives me this false sense of "everything is perfect when you're married". Yeah, yeah, I knew deep down that it wasn't, but I didn't really believe it until you both started opening your hearts to show us the sometimes nitty gritty side of marriage. I think my favorite non-crafties post to date is the Dirty Laundry post. It is refreshing to see that marriage isn't perfect 100% of the time, and I am so very thankful that you guys are sharing your story. Thank you for being vulnerable and real instead of fake and all sunshine and smiles in every post. God is working through you two and your blog to help me (and many others) grow! I love you guys, and I sincerely hope you found the enormous compliment in all of this!!

  2. Kyle…you are hilarious. I was trying to read this out loud to Justin last night and I was laughing so hard I was snorting. But then you come right in there with some amazing Biblical truth that needs to be remembered daily…no matter how long you have been married. Thank you for sharing your humor, your spirit, and some amazing TRUTH.

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