The Fear of Marriage

I was talking with Kyle’s sister this past weekend about marriages and divorce rates and parents who leave their families and never take interest in their children. She is single (sorry Kayc, I promise it’s imperative to the story, maybe I can hook you up with a blog reader?) and she finished our discussion with one phrase:

I’m actually really scared of marriage.

I, in all my wisdom, uttered something about why you have to choose the right person and how it could either be the worst thing in the world or the best thing. Despite my lack of eloquence, I still find that statement to be true. However, there’s a lot more depth and beauty behind this mysterious covenant, and it deserves more respect than I can ever give it in words. But I’ll leave you with this:

Marriage was created to be a picture of Christ. He died and gave Himself up for his bride, the Church. So to look upon marriage is to look upon the Lord. It must be feared and viewed with reverence, for a single slight of hand can cause unbearable destruction of the human soul. But when lived the right way, the joy and freedom it brings is like no other experience on this earth. And yet the joy we see in marriage is but a glimpse of His love for us.

How do you view marriage? Is it something to be feared?

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8 thoughts on “The Fear of Marriage”

  1. How do you view marriage?
    I tell every person I know when they get engaged, "Congratulations! Marriage is the BEST!" I love living life with my very best friend. I love that we have an "80 year marriage agreement" – it keeps things silly and lighthearted. I love the clear definition of rolls we have. I love the snuggles, encouragements and adventures. I love that marriage pushes me to constantly change and learn how to make it work.

    Is it something to be feared?
    Respected, yes. Feared (scared of), not really. I see it this way- we just lost our first baby to miscarriage…I could be scared as could be to get pregnant again for fear that I'll miscarry again. However, being fearful about it and avoiding it will never bring me a baby- trying until it works will. Yes, life is hard, marriage is hard, losing a baby is hard. We just have to keep moving forward, never fearing change and the growing/learning that comes with it.

  2. Well I think it is something to be scared of. You're married so of course you don't think it should be feared. I, however was in a 3 year relationship and thought I was getting married and it ended very badly so I feel like I can be afraid of marriage. I am not going to avoid getting married but I am definitely afraid of the fact that I have to make a huge decision by spending the rest of my life with one person who will hopefully love me as much as I love them.

    1. I agree with you, Kace. Your thoughts on marriage can become distorted when a relationship you thought was going to lead to marriage doesn't work out. The idea of marriage can be scary for those of us who are not married and/or not ready to get married right now. Especially if you are single, you don't have a clue who that person is that you're going to marry. It's a world of uncertainty at this point. Until you meet that right person, I think it's realistic to be scared of marriage.

  3. I don't "fear" marriage. However I view it as one of the most important decisions one can make and it should not be taken lightly. I'm only getting married once and devoting my life to this person, my number 2, for forever.

    It's scary for lots of reasons but when you trust in the Lord you have a peace about it. I'm so thankful that the Lord has given me my number 2.

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  5. It should be feared when it is with the wrong person.

    When you find the right person who you can trust to stick by your side no matter what, then marriage is a beautiful thing, even during the sucky times (how wonderful to be at your lowest and to know that person is there by your side).

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