Why Marriage Must Change You

You’ve been hearing from Jen a lot lately…sorry about that, I’ll try to make it up to you in the next few days. But this is a little bit how my week has been going:

Sunday – Played tennis, watched Mad Men, tried to think of cool blog posts to parallel either tennis or Mad Men to our marriage, came up empty, went to sleep.
Monday – Tried to play tennis, couldn’t find a court, tried to write a blog post, couldn’t find a thought, went to sleep.
Tuesday – Played kickball, told Jen whoever got home last had to write the post for yesterday, quoted her Matthew 20:16 (last shall be first, first shall be last), she complained, I quoted Ephesians 5:22 (wives submit to your husband), she wrote the post. Also, made note to not play the Ephesians 5:22 card too often…
Wednesday – Went to the Rangers game, saw Josh Hamilton be awesome, hung out with old friends, laughed a lot, rode home semi-silently, couldn’t think of a post, saw Jen passed out on the couch with Gilmore Girls blaring on the computer, said a curse word in my head, almost went to sleep, realized we had no post, ate a cookie, and had this thought:

Every post I write doesn’t have to change the world, but I am changed every time I sit down to write.

If you paint a painting someone out there is going to think it’s dumb. If you put a new album on iTunes somebody is going to disagree with your message. They might not voice it but you know that they know.

There’s resistance in the world (even on a small blog with only a few followers!) and this forces me to write things I believe in and stand for. It forces me to tell a good story and convey what I am learning. To create art is to change because art is nothing but a sliver of your story, it is a part of who you’re becoming. And if you’re not becoming anything, if you’re not changing, there is no story.

Paul writes to the Philippians that he will “remain and continue with them, for their progress and joy in the faith.” Sometimes it feels like life is just a series of snapshots lined end-over-end like one of those kids flippy-picture-books when, in reality, it is a linear progression of becoming more and more of who we were created to be.

For me, marriage is much of the same. I can be stagnant and apathetic towards my wife or I can lean into the friction caused by two sinners living under one roof. When I choose the former, I experience nothing. When I embrace the latter, no matter the outcome I become something more than I was yesterday.

I must change to be the leader of our home because if Jen doesn’t believe that I’m moving forward, towards the Lord, there will be no reason to follow.

[and technically I am moving forward right now…as I carry her to bed]

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I'm an aspiring freelance writer and blogger (which doesn't make a ton of sense when you think about it). I started a blog called Our Marriage Project and one about OSU called Pistols Firing. I love both of them, and I love my wife. And I love Kevin Durant, Explosions in the Sky, Tim Riggins, Blue Moon ale, Twitter, and the state of Georgia.

4 thoughts on “Why Marriage Must Change You”

  1. so true…thanks for moving forward. i feel inspired by those words today. i woke up late this morning and skipped my time in the Word, but somehow, after reading this message i feel a little closer to God.

  2. I feel like I can always count on you to fill in the words for what I’m trying to figure out about this whole marriage thing. This quote is the one today: “When I embrace the latter, no matter the outcome I become something more than I was yesterday.” Though tough to live out, very true words and I’m always so thankful when I know others are thinking the same.

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