You’re nervous about getting married, you don’t know what she’ll mean to you… – Betty Draper (Mad Men)
You can’t either. You can’t know what she’ll mean in the future, it’s impossible.
Jen is my most intimate friend. She’s also my most amiable companion. She’s my favorite person to be with and talk to. We’ve always been close but the depth to which our love has plunged, while probably not externally visible, is something I never expected.
I guess I don’t know what I expected when I stepped into marriage. I thought it would be fun and I thought it would be a little weird to live with a girl. I thought it would be nice if we both had jobs (apparently an irrational assumption on my part) and made a little bit of money. I knew it would be difficult and refining. I just never understood the level to which love could be taken. How could I?
The best way I can explain it is that now, when Jen walks through a room, and I’m sitting there reading or twiddling my pinkies or thinking about OSU, when she walks through that room, I feel something stir within me that says “I care for that girl.” Not “I love that girl” or “that girl is awesome” but my soul cares for and wants to protect her sanctity and the essence of who she is.
I didn’t know it was going to be like this, somebody should have told me.