On Living Outside Myself

We aren’t entirely sure, but we think the rest of the world might be back at work today. We are still taking time off and sleeping irregular hours for one last day. We’ll soon return to our normal lives and regularly scheduled postings.

This isn’t a reflection on Christmas or a looking forward to the new year, though I’m sure those posts are to come. I’ve been reading a fictional book lately on the slow goings of becoming like Christ and who he wants us to be. The long and painful process is different for each of us, though we often struggle with many of the same things. After a day of reluctantly keeping a woman company at her death bed, the young woman in the book wrote in her journal:

I have learned one thing worth knowing. It is this: Duty looks more repelling at a distance than when fairly faced and met. I still see men as trees walking, but He never leaves His work incomplete and is leading me into a clear and open vision if I’ll allow Him to do it.

The world is full of those of us who are met with a call to duty and yet shy away from it. I find myself being often called to share more of myself or give more than is comfortable, and yet my first response is rarely like Mary’s- ‘I am the Lord’s servant. May it be to me as you have said.’

The root of my unbelief comes not from doubting who I am, but in seeing my husband, my parents, people at work, not as souls, but as trees walking. My eyes have been opened enough to recognize what I should see, yet I fail to see it on a regular basis. Yet duty, when fully faced, is much less intimidating, more fulfilling than we can ever comprehend before we obey. The world sees marriage as a repelling compromise, a duty to be shirked for the thrill of living your own life day by day. Yet the duty (and joy) I have in being a wife is preparing me for many opportunities down the road to respond as Mary did. For I am the Lord’s servant.

We hope you all had an amazing holiday week. We’re headed back to Dallas for a few days without travel. Cheers for our own bed!

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