Welcome from SCL

If you’re reading this right now you probably found our blog through the guest post I wrote on Jon Acuff’s uber-popular blog about Christians and the hilarious (and true) stuff they immerse themselves in.

We actually ended this blog about a month ago after posting every day for a year. Those 365 days represented the first twelve months of our marriage and we walked (and sometimes crawled) through joyous occasions like, well, like getting married and not so joyous occasions like the time I tried to watch the World Cup in the middle of our honeymoon.

Since the blog has ended we’ve both moved on to pursue other projects. I run an Oklahoma State sports blog and Jen is perfecting the ever-evolving world of craft she lives in.

Running this blog was a lot of fun. Writing about marriage, having an online community, and sharing in the glorious treasure that is our Lord were the best first blogging experience we could have ever had. It was time to move on to other pursuits though. I sent Acuff that guest post some five months or so ago when we were in the thick of writing on here but since he probably has a stack of guest posts ten feet high I think he was just now getting around to posting.

So thank you for visiting and sorry we don’t have more to show you! Also, thank you for reading my excerpt on Stuff Christians Like, and if you want to read about our story (the secret engagement portion of it anyway) in full you can do so here.

On Scheduling

I’ve come to the conclusion that the majority of our disagreements are Jen’s fault the result of each of us impeding on the other’s time.

Oh you have softball tonight? Well I wanted to go out to eat instead.
You’re going antiquing this weekend? I was going to work on my web site.
We’re going to your family’s house again?!

It’s just one of the many ways our personal selfishness is revealed through marriage.

I don’t really think there’s a fix to this problem or a tried-and-true remedy for the ailment of feeling lonely all the time, but here’s what Jen and I decided on…

As most of you know, I’ve been rather busy running my OSU web site (it’s a second job really) and because of this our time together is sporadic at best. So we walked through my weekly schedule, hour by hour (literally), and blocked off time that’s just Kyle and Jen time. No writing, no reading, just being with each other and cultivating relationship.

And it’s been outstanding – to be intentional with your time to grow in the Lord with your spouse.

Of course we’re also only on day 2 so get back to me in a week, we’ll probably be in the midst of another Zeb incident.

A Memorial

As our Memorial Day tribute, let me introduce you to (or reacquaint you with) the greatest rendetion of the U.S. National Anthem that’s ever been performed. My favorite part is at 3:03 when she gives this look off to the side that basically says “that’s the best pre-Super Bowl performance anyone’s ever given.”

Don’t forget to call your grandparents, parents, siblings, and friends today to thank them.

4 Things I Learned from Doing Marriage Project

It seems daunting in retrospect – every day for a year you have to put at least some sort of thought, feeling, idea, or personal belief out there for all the world (hypothetically) to see. It was fun at the beginning, then it got difficult, then it got easy, then we almost gave up, then we loved it again, and…well…it was a lot like a relationship.

Here are four things I learned from writing on this blog for the last year:

1. Writing is believing – There are times, and some of you probably know where I’m coming from, that I would start writing about a topic and I really didn’t know which side of the fence I was going to land on until I typed the last sentence. So I think that means I learned that I process the world through writing about it. And to that end…

2. I’m very thankful to Mr. Gutenberg – For setting in motion a 5-century long series of events that would, for the time being, culminate in my leaning back in a desk chair hammering away on a wireless keyboard at this post. Writing the 200,000 words or so we’ve written would have been a lot less enjoyable by hand.

3. Have a plan – We went into this without a plan to speak of. I really didn’t know what we were going to do or how it was going to end up or who would read it. Because of that it never turned into what I think it could have (and maybe should have) but…

4. Doing something > not doing something – I can’t even comprehend how much we’ve learned, how much I’ve learned about each other, about writing, about the blog world, about other writers, and about the Lord. So even though I would deem our endeavor mildly unsuccessful in terms of end result, the journey of actually consistently doing something for 365 straight days was an absolute experience.

We’ll be back for more over the next 9 days and have a farewell post next weekend so don’t go away yet. And thank you, as always, to all of our readers, we’ve had a terribly fantastic time interacting with you and learning from you for the past 12 months.

The Night We Met

I had known her for two years already, but I remember the night it felt like I was meeting Jen again for the first time.

We had driven to Hennessey that day to visit her sister, who had just undergone brain surgery. I was a little upset because I was missing the OSU Texas Tech basketball game and all I had was a radio and miles and miles of Oklahoma farmland to traverse. In retrospect, her sister had just been prodded in the brain with multiple metal instruments and just wanted some company so my being perturbed was probably a bit misguided.

Anyway, we had fun that day reminiscing with some old friends who had also come with us to the place where (little did we know) we would be married at some 800 days later.

Then that night, well, that night was one of those nights that don’t really make sense unless you’ve lived in a college town It’s one of those fistful of wonderful nights that are seared into the hard drive of your mind and even if you wanted to erase it, you couldn’t.

Jen had just gotten her hair cut and she was wearing this crisp red jacket that made her look about 6” taller than she actually was. She looked elegant that night. Like Katie Holmes crossed with Rachel McAdams.

We were out with friends and everyone had a blast, but honestly we could have been out with strangers in a country halfway around the world and it still would have felt the same way. I couldn’t stop looking at her, I was completely and unequivocally hooked.

I wish I could have put it in a time capsule.

There were other nights in our dating relationship that stand out for various reasons: our first kiss, our first actual date, and “that one night in Austin” come to mind. But I think I’d be hard pressed to give you a more soul-debilitating twenty four hours than January 12, 2008.

To fifty more years of red jackets and fresh hair cuts.

Sunday Letters

Dear wife,

I hope you’re enjoying your little mini-vacation as much as I’m not enjoying life without you this weekend. I thought I was going to revel in getting a lot of work done on my website (and I have) but when it comes to taking a break and going to Braum’s or just siting outside and talking I’m finding it’s just not as fun without you.

However, it has given me the opportunity to plan something terrific for our one year anniversary which is…wow…two weeks from today. It’s crazy isn’t it – this time last year I was at my brother’s graduation, you were meticulously organizing your parents’ venue for the wedding, we weren’t married yet.

Now, I can’t imagine not being married. Like I literally don’t remember what it was like to live by myself, have coffee by myself, watch movies by myself…until this weekend.

And that’s kind of the point I think. I was so looking forward to some me-time this weekend and I’ve ended up just wishing you were here the whole time. That you are so ingratiated into not just my life but my existence is something I’ve never known from another human. I think that’s how it’s supposed to be though, fights and all.

Have fun in Cali, try not to almost lose your ring in the Pacific Ocean like you did on our honeymoon.

Here’s to the next 50 weeks.

– Huz