Our Marriage Project

One of my friends recently built me the bike you see above.

He undercharged me by about 900% so I won’t tell you how much I paid him for it, but I will tell you how he made it.

He said he got the frame from a guy on Craigslist
The basket he snagged on Amazon.
The wheels and tires he already had. (I guess he has rubber trees in his backyard?)
The brakes he stole off his irritating 5-year old neighbor’s tricycle.
The handlebars he picked up at a local shop.

I asked him a few weeks ago when in the process of building if he enjoyed gathering parts and crafting them together for me and he said, “I love it, I wish it paid.”

When I went to his house to pick it up there were bike frames in his garage, tools scattered everywhere, and whatever you call the things the chain goes around hanging on pegboards on the wall.

See you can say you love something, but what you might really mean is that you actually love what doing that thing gets you. You love the result.

You love running because it gives you a good body.
You love reading because it makes you smart.
You love writing because you want blog readers.

I would argue that if you don’t love the raw act of doing those seemingly boring activities, then your progress isn’t sustainable. You can’t just fall in love with the end result because your work will be shoddy or, even worse, you’ll give up before you get there.

You have to love the rhythm running brings. You have to love getting lost in books. You have to love molding blog posts and essays. You have to not care about the end game.

I learned this from my bike maker. He loves making bikes even more than he loves having made them.

And to you, my wife, I love riding our figurative little marriage bike every once in a while (after all, it IS our logo). But I’ve loved the art of building it more. And I love tweaking it more. And, usually, I love repairing it just as much, if not more.

So thanks for being patient, for the process might not be pretty, but it is more than worthy. And I’m in love with it.

And, no, he didn’t really steal the brakes. That I’m aware of. I don’t even know if 5-year olds ride tricycles…

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We heard a quote the other day in church that I can’t get out of my head. It went something like this:

Words of encouragement on the lips of a woman are unbelievably powerful in the heart of a man

I know, I know it looks like something that should be scripted into the side of a coffee mug with an eagle clothed in an American flag watermark faded into the background, but just roll with me for a minute.

Jen may or may not know this (and I suppose she does now since she probably read it), but the ability she has to sway and guide my heart with her words is like nothing I’ve ever experienced. I could have co-workers or some of my boys tell me something like 29,000 times and I wouldn’t care to change my ways (mostly because I’m a monkey), but if Jen encourages me in what I’m doing? Ballgame.

There’s something integrally magical about her words when she uses them to build a foundation upon which I can rest my heart. It’s as if she’s saying “you’re enough because God is enough and He made you enough for me. What you’re doing is good and I am for it. I am for you.”

And I just wither away.

In her vows, Jen wrote, “I will strive all my days to make you proud of me, to raise your children as ambassadors for Christ, and to honor you with my words in all situations. While my identity does not hinge on the words you say, you are continually shaping how I perceive this world and where I put my focus. So go forth this day, knowing that my confidence is in Christ, but that every word you say is truth to me.”

• My first thought was “oh, um, I think you may be marrying the wrong dude because I think this is a little beyond the scope of what I’m capable of…”
• My second thought was, “I didn’t know Proverbs 31 girls were real.”
• My third thought was, “Dear God, give me the grace and nobility I need to handle and lead this woman who is, in all ways, too much for me. God, I can’t even turn on a sewing machine, this will never work!! Help me!!”

So thank you, wife, for lifting me up with your words to places I never thought I might actually reach. And know that while my words might be truth to you, your words give life to me, like fire in my spirit, and strength in my soul.

Every word you say is everything to me.

What’s your favorite kind of encouragement?

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