The Beauty of a Stranger

Jen —  August 25, 2010 — 2 Comments

I feel like I’m hogging the blog this week, but I got home first last night, so I got to write the post and Kyle can wait his turn. Clearly I’m becoming more unselfish in marriage by the day. Ahem.

So last night we got invited to two separate events. I have a feeling that it’s all because of this post, but at this point, we’ll take whatever we can get. Kyle played kickball, I went to a girls night. Now, if you’ve ever walked into a room full of people you barely know, you understand that it can be a little intimidating. These weren’t my friends, they don’t know my struggles, we went to different schools, grew up in different states, it’s just… different. And yet as I was sitting at the table with five almost strangers, the world became a little bit smaller.

I was sitting at a table surrounded by empty plates, glasses of wine, and host of young women I know little about. But as I watched them laugh and interact, they didn’t seem like such strangers after all. They all love Christ, and despite our different careers (or lack thereof) and our different passions, our struggles are all the same.

There’s something beautiful about walking through life in Christian fellowship. Having friends who can call you out on things, who have the same heart, who challenge you in conversation and in life. But there’s almost something more beautiful in knowing that God is so much bigger than my group of friends. He encompasses so much more than we think about on a daily basis. And no matter where we find ourselves, we must remember that it is He who led us here, and He will remain faithful. And we will all glorify Him together.

Today, I am reminded that the body of Christ is much larger than I’ll ever truly know.

May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.

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The Book Nook

Jen —  August 24, 2010 — 24 Comments

Lately I’ve been book obsessed. Maybe it has to do with the fact that I remain unemployed with little to do besides housework and grocery shopping. And reading. Today, I share two of my new favorites that I can’t stop talking about.

1. Stepping Heavenward

I hesitate to write about this book for fear I won’t do it justice and no girl will want to read it. And you all need to. First published in 1869, it’s a fictional account of a young woman from childhood through adulthood, as told by her journal. It has the strength and charm of a Jane Austen novel, but with an element of vulnerability as she struggles daily to become more like Christ. It was such a different time, but the struggles are the same as mine today. A friend recently mailed me a copy because reading it made her want to be a better wife and mother. Read it. I know you’ll love it.

2. The Handmade Marketplace

I have to give the disclaimer that I’m not even halfway finished with this book, but if you’re wanting to start your own small business, this is the book to read. It walks you through getting started, creating a brand, networking, marketing, selling, and a lot more. A must have for anyone has ever entertained the idea of taking their creativity (painting, sewing, or making googly-eyed peanuts) to the next level.

And of course I’m always wanting more. What’s the best book you’ve read lately?

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To Have a Friend

Jen —  August 23, 2010 — 5 Comments

Moving to a new city proves to be more challenging in some areas than others. I’ve decided which supermarket I like best, I know how to get to my favorite thrift stores, and can even go most places without a map. Our apartment is shaping up, the days are proving to be much less mundane, and I’m starting to feel more at home all the time. However, we keep coming back to this one tiny issue: We really only have a few friends here.

When we left Stillwater, we were in the middle of everything. I worked for a church, which connected me immediately to 150 volunteers, 9 staff members, their volunteers, and every person who came through our doors on a weekend. Kyle had great community within his work. Our weeks would usually be full of softball or basketball games, coffee with friends, evenings at the church, or great conversation with roommates over dinner and wine. And while we knew a few people coming into this great city, it still provides a stark contrast to the fellowship and friendship we had in our recent past. Here’s a synopsis of our friend making so far:

-       We see a fun looking couple on the street walking their dog. One of us says, “Ooh they look really cool.” The other agrees.

-       We drive by an old woman working in her garden. I say, “Oh Kyle I bet she’s so sweet. I want to be friends with her.” She keeps digging. We keep driving.

-       We shake hands with people sitting next to us at church. But only on the weeks they make us. We make eye contact, sit back down, and one of us says, “They look like a fun couple to hang out with.” The other nods. End of discussion.

-       One week at church Kyle leaves to use restroom. Comes back with fly open. Negates everyone who sat close to us that week as possible future friends.

-       The next week we arrive at church and I realize I’ve forgotten to brush my teeth. Knocks out another 10-12 fun looking couples. Almost literally. No discussion that week.

And the list goes on. We find ourselves surrounded by possible community and fellowship everywhere, and yet it seems very out of reach. So we continue to play “I Spy” with unsuspecting Dallas residents while we wait for small groups to start at church in September. And hope that none of them sat by us for examples 4 or 5.

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Thoughts From This Week

Kyle —  August 22, 2010 — 3 Comments

I’m thinking about maybe turning this Thoughts From The Week thing into our Sunday post much like we post links to other awesome blogs/sites/products/stories on Saturdays. Weekends are weird on blogs (people don’t read nearly as much) but we’ll try to keep things fresh and original over here. Try being the key word there. Onto a few things I thought this week:

  1. We played tennis yesterday, it was a train wreck in the same way experiencing Lindsay Lohan is a train wreck: dramatic, hilarious, at times enjoyable, and an intense desire to bathe afterwards.
  2. One of our friends (this girl) came down to have brunch with us on Saturday (well she didn’t solely come down to eat and talk for 2 hours with us, but we don’t have a lot of friends down here so just let us imagine it that way!) and it was awesome. We talked about theology, weddings, sports, travel, and food…you know, the types of things old friends should talk about, it was like an excerpt from Eat, Pray, Love and I was James Franco (in my head anyway).
  3. The new Ray LaMontagne album is fresh (I’m trying to branch on my descriptive adjectives…forgive me).
  4. Why is shopping for groceries the married couple equivalent of the Peloponnesian War? Should it really be that difficult to select a group of edible products you can both agree on for a given period of time (in our case 7 days). I feel like I have to armor up like Brad Pitt in Troy every time we walk in Kroger. I should really probably take it easy on the movie star comparisons….
  5. Groupon is doing for date nights what Dungeons and Dragons did for the 18-25 year old geeky American male. It’s a revolution.

Enjoy that Sunday afternoon nap  I know you’re about to take…

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Saturday Roundup

Kyle —  August 21, 2010 — Leave a comment

We got a few requests this week: a good list of blogs we read (started that on the right) and more pictures on the Saturday roundup, check that one off too. Anything else you guys want to see on here, @ us on Twitter or send  an email. We need the accountability, trust me :)

Enjoy your weekend.

Groveling I tell you.....

[Starting clockwise from the top...you can click on the pictures OR the links below]

Seth Godin had a great and seemingly insightful post yesterday on being inspired.

A story we heard on NPR. Take 5 minutes and listen to the audio part, it’s so much more powerful than the text.

If you haven’t read this book yet, please do, I’m begging you, I’m groveling. Really I am, Jen’s staring at me, I’m on the floor on my knees typing this out.

Photo Attribution: Glasses | Umbrellas | Book

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Pride & Blogging & Humility

Kyle —  August 20, 2010 — 8 Comments

Blogging is a funny thing. It seems innocent enough: gather some thoughts, sort them out, post to the web, a few people comment, go to sleep, repeat. I suppose that’s how it should be.

When we started on this journey a mere 74-ish days ago we promised 365 days of writing our thoughts, ideas, hopes, fears, and dreams. So far a lot of that writing has been our fears and thoughts…maybe we’ll get to the ideas and dreams later on? We promised we would faithfully write no matter how many people read or what they said about what we wrote. And it seemed simple enough at the time, I mean, it’s just a silly little blog, who cares?! Surely we won’t get caught up in trivial blogging matters like readership, subscriptions, and pageviews, not us, we’re so wise.

Hah. Then people started reading and we started becoming far more worried about which posts brought the most visitors and where the most pageviews were generated. Honestly, it’s like crack (or what I imagine crack to be like)….watching the pageviews climb (see below), thinking “I am such a good writer, the internets love me! I have Jon Acuff and Carlos Whittaker in my sights, we will soon have the coolest Christian blog in the world!!”

Then I see the other side of that mountain and start thinking “I can’t believe the keys on the keyboard still move when I punch them, I am that atrocious. This blog will never be worthwhile, I’ve seen better writing on AOL instant message chats between middle school girls. Girls who have the same knowledge of apostrophe usage as I have of nuclear fission.”

So needless to say, I need to get my emotions under control. It’s good though, because this blog is teaching me that consistency is key. The mountains and valleys, they will come and they will pass but to remain even-keeled and level-headed, those are lessons that I can use, in real life, in being a husband.

CS Lewis once said: “It is through pride that the devil became the devil, pride leads to every other vice…”

I’d like to see what ‘ol Clive would have done with a blog. Probably never looked at his pageviews…

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Mo Money, Mo Problems?

Both —  August 19, 2010 — 5 Comments

We claim to be simplistic people. We appreciate the small things, we love our tiny apartment, we drive semi-old cars and really still like them. We think it’s because we’re simple at heart, but isn’t it really just because we don’t have any money?

Last night we were walking around some local neighborhoods, and while our apartment building is small, most of the houses aren’t. We’re talking old money plantation style homes. We passed one that legitimately looked like the White House minus the Obamas. They’re incredible. So naturally we start talking about what we would buy if we won the lottery.

DISCLAIMER: We don’t buy lottery tickets and don’t promote doing so.

But for the sake of this post let’s say we won $120 million. It’s all ours. It’s easy to say we’d give it all away and buy clean water for every country in northern Africa and mosquito nets for all the ones in the south, but would we really? Our kids (all 7 of them) could have their college paid for. We could buy homes for our entire family, go anywhere in the world for as long as we like, and pretty much have every luxury at our fingertips. You name it, we get it. If we were presented with the opportunity to never work again in our lives, support our families, start whatever small business we please, and never have to worry about money again, would we really give it all away? Really?

We hope so, we really do. We hope we would support 39 Compassion International kiddies and buy a modest house and plant a garden and live off the earth. We hope we would create sustainable small businesses that would affect people’s lives in a positive way and we hope we would even adopt a few of those 39 kiddies.

However, when we challenged each other to pick 3 things (6 in all) we would buy if we won that $120 million only 1 had anything to do with giving something away.

So at least we know what we have to work on…

Here’s $120 million. What are you really going to do with it?

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The Fear of Marriage

Jen —  August 18, 2010 — 8 Comments

I was talking with Kyle’s sister this past weekend about marriages and divorce rates and parents who leave their families and never take interest in their children. She is single (sorry Kayc, I promise it’s imperative to the story, maybe I can hook you up with a blog reader?) and she finished our discussion with one phrase:

I’m actually really scared of marriage.

I, in all my wisdom, uttered something about why you have to choose the right person and how it could either be the worst thing in the world or the best thing. Despite my lack of eloquence, I still find that statement to be true. However, there’s a lot more depth and beauty behind this mysterious covenant, and it deserves more respect than I can ever give it in words. But I’ll leave you with this:

Marriage was created to be a picture of Christ. He died and gave Himself up for his bride, the Church. So to look upon marriage is to look upon the Lord. It must be feared and viewed with reverence, for a single slight of hand can cause unbearable destruction of the human soul. But when lived the right way, the joy and freedom it brings is like no other experience on this earth. And yet the joy we see in marriage is but a glimpse of His love for us.

How do you view marriage? Is it something to be feared?

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Running Away

Kyle —  August 17, 2010 — 19 Comments

There’s an apparently famous woman named Twyla Tharp (I think she looks like what would happen if Abraham Piper and David Duchovny had a kid)  who once said “art is the only way to run away without leaving home.”

We’ve talked a little bit on here about the reasons we don’t have TV. Honestly, most of those reasons can be consolidated to these two:

  1. We want to be dually countercultural and anti-TV (which inevitably leads to a pride/repentance/pride/repentance cycle the likes of which would make Samson blush…we’ll address this later)
  2. We fully believe that famous woman’s quote

Our home is great. It’s small, but we love it. Sometimes though it’s nice to leave, if only in our minds. The easiest way to do that (since we don’t have a “Cessna learjet” fund in our Dave Ramsey plan) is to create an adventure…to become an artist.

Art can come in any form. This blog is art. At times it could be misconstrued for a 3-year old’s finger painting, but it’s still art. Jen’s craftiness? Art. My sports blog? Art. We tell stories and make things and write words…and we do it because it feels blissfully satisfying to make something, step back, refine it, look at it, tweak it, send it off, and say “I did that.” Then we get emails that read: “you misspelled 7 words and I think your underlying theme is about as interesting as PBS at 3 AM” and we say “I did that, but I wish I hadn’t.”

We haven’t really gotten emails like that. Yet.

I write and Jen crafts because we each enjoy our respective work to the point that we get lost for hours on end in our own strokes and white-outs and strokes to cover up the white-outs. And even if nobody ever said, “hey, this isn’t boring, I actually like this” we would still come back and create some more. Or go away and create some more…whichever you prefer.

What is your favorite form of art?

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How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria?

Jen —  August 16, 2010 — 3 Comments

There was a period of time during my junior year of college when I felt God calling me to be a nun. Nevermind the fact that I’m not Catholic, nor had I ever stepped foot inside a Catholic church; this was my destiny and I would have to accept it. I researched, I asked questions (of Catholics, who usually laughed at me), and I prepared my heart to be single for the remainder of my earthly life, dedicated in word, deed, and action to my God. I was all in.

My calling obviously disappeared and is probably floating somewhere in the dark abyss above the Oklahoma skies. But I say all that to say this: There have been few times in my life when I’ve truly had a heart of submission. It’s not exciting stuff- I’ve never done anything illegal or life threatening, but most can probably relate. I dated boys in high school despite (and partially because of) the fact that my parents didn’t want me to. I’ve lied to my friends under pressure, cheated on exams, and put myself above others way more often than not, even when it hurts them. And I’ve ignored the innermost promptings of the Lord over so many little things, I’ve lost track.

You should help that old lady take her groceries to her car.

She’s doing fine. She probably likes doing things herself, anyway. Elderly people are always so stubborn.

Talk to your neighbor. You never say anything besides hello.

They’ll probably think I’m strange and why do I need to talk to them? We probably have nothing in common.

Call your grandma.

I’ll call her tomorrow.

And if I can’t even submit to the God of the universe, how will I ever submit to my husband, an imperfect and sinful human being?

“Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.”

{Insert doubt, jealousy, selfishness, need for control, lack of patience, arrogance, and greed.}

Most days my heart renders me completely incapable of surrendering to anything except my own interests and desires.

I really wanted to be more of the Sister Maria type of nun anyway. It would have ended badly.

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