Two Seven

Today is my wife’s 27th birthday (and my half birthday). Yesterday was our 100th post in a row. Those two statements have little in common other than they are both minor milestones she was probably at times unconfident she would ever reach. Now I’m at her side for both of them, what a joyous occasion for her. Perhaps she’ll bake cookies in my honor. In her honor I’m writing “27 absolutely random things I love about my wife in absolutely no sensical order.” Here we go…

27. She up-cycles and amends her own clothes – suffice to say I’ve kept her away from mine, but I know it’s coming. It’s really a war of attrition. I feel like Sly Stallone in the first Rambo, just fighting for my life.

26. She just ran by our doorway in slo-motion on her way to the bathroom. I have no idea why, I thought she was going to moonwalk back into the living room and break into a limited edition Thriller dance. Alas.

25. She always lets me drive – Some might call this a “control issue” but I prefer to think of it as “the natural progression of leadership a man displays in a marital relationship.” Or something like that.

24. I rarely have to buy gifts for my friends or family – Never mind the fact that we spent $126 and 17 hours to make a scarf J. Crew would have given us for $11.99…

23. She comes up with my fantasy football team names – No really. Get this: Pot of Gould (<— Bears kicker) At The End of Dwayne Bowe (<— Chiefs wide receiver)…you should have seen my face when she said that phrase out loud, it was the same face I imagine my dad made when he got his grades from his first semester at college.

22. She always keeps the house clean…

21. She’s constantly saying things like “wait, under par is good in football right?” and “I heard Peyton Manning has the best ERA in all the world!” She says them with such confidence too so I always feel bad about laughing.

20. She trusts me.

19. She’ll play tennis with me even though we’re both terrible at it. Our “matches” usually end up looking like the first episode of Lost. You know, the one where the plane crashes and utter disaster ensues.

18. She drives a truck around Highland Park, Texas like a tiny-town Oklahoma girl should.

17. She reads. A lot. Or that’s what she tells me via email while I’m at work. Perhaps the wool has been pulled and she’s really been spending all our hard-earned money at the craft store?!? I’m going to need somebody to look into this…

16. She makes me take her to Braum’s instead of Cheesecake Factory. Our house fund would also like to take a moment to say he loves this about her.

15. She won a local pillowcase challenge. Well, she told me she won, then later on I found out that it wasn’t a competition at all, just a bunch of girls getting together to chat and sew. I was devastated. “Why did you even go?” I asked. I don’t want want to live in a world where sifting through various fabrics and sewing chic pillowcases has no more pressure on the line than an afternoon of tea and crumpets. I blame Martha, ever since that prison “incident” it’s just been all fun and games, minus the games.

14. An intramural referee once mistakenly identified her as a male participant in our softball game. It was love at first sight gender-identity crisis.

13. She plays the piano better than anyone knows.

12. I always act like I loathe getting dragged to antique stores and vintage markets, and if OSU is playing I actually do loathe this, but I actually enjoy the adventure. Shhh, don’t tell her though, I’m hoping she won’t read today.

11. She lets me eat popcorn for dinner. And watch tennis.

10. Statements like: “Somtimes, I guess I just wish I was a hobo…”

9. Her iTunes wish list makes indie, hippie, local coffee shops blush.

8. We don’t even ever have to actually bear children to get the effect. Note our 6-hour (six, not sixteen) honeymoon flight to Hawaii: [2 hours in] “Are we almost there? Is there more food? What movie are they showing? I hate this movie!”

7. She won’t let me settle for “good enough” – It actually makes me upset at the time but deep down I’m smiling. You hear me, Jen? DEEP DOWN I’M REALLY SMILING!!!

6. She’s like a fabulous combination of Lorelai and Rory from The Gilmore Girls. Yes, I watch it. Yes, I’m serious. No, I’m not kidding you. Yes, it’s better than 99% of current TV shows. Yes, I’m serious. No, I’m not gay. Yes, you should watch it. Yes, yes, no, yes, yes, no, yes. There you go.

5. 101 days in and we haven’t had our first “I want a baby and I want it now” meltdown. The clock is ticking though…both of them.

4. Matt Chandler is right, boy has a smell. I didn’t realize it until recently. Girl has a smell too and it’s a lot better than boy.

3. She believes in what I am yet to become. That’s tough, she’s great at it.

2. Even if everybody else stops reading my words she still will. I think. Well, I know she will if I can convince her the only way I’ll continue to feed her Netflix documentary fetish is if she can formidably discuss any and every thing I write on this and my other blog. And even then it’s probably 50/50

1. She’s just…mine. And we are God’s. And it is good.

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