TFTW

Thoughts From The Weekend (in case you were wondering):

Marriage:Dating as PF Changs:Chili’s – Chili’s is fine, and it’s good to go there with friends and eat decent food but then when you go to PF Chang’s you find yourself saying things like “wait, why did we go to Chili’s? We never want to go back to Chili’s, we just want to stay at PF Chang’s forever. How is Chili’s still in business?” And thankfully, since this is a hypothetical SAT-style statement, you do in fact get to stay at PF Chang’s forever…despite the real-life monetary difference

The list of “places I would lobby for us to live at if we ever just randomly stopped paying rent and got evicted” goes something like 1. The 13th fairway at Augusta National 2. Barnes & Noble 3. Aspen Coffee and 4. Either of our parents homes…

We had friends in town from Oklahoma this weekend. I told Jen tonight “it was nice to interact with other human beings today…” Maybe this blogging/writing thing is affecting us more than we realize? Mix in a trip out the front door?

I just realized I made my visiting friend sleep on an unwashed quilt we bought from Canton that may or may not be from one of the last two centuries…oops

My sister and I thought of a new family slogan as we were swerving all over the highway tonight while my mom was yelling at the top of her lungs (on “accident”) into her phone at the person we were trying to meet up with and everyone else in the car (including the swerving driver) was trying to iPhone/GPS/become a cartographer real quick and map a Cheesecake Factory for us to go to: “The Porters – A Lot More Stressful Than We Should Be” – If that doesn’t inspire strong community and deep relationships then…well…I give up. Oh, and we ended up at a tiny Mexican restaurant in a mall right next to like 120 ice skating kids under the age of 7. Good times all around!

And last but not least…Congrats to some old friends on a new undertaking.

See y’all back here tomorrow, enjoy a relaxing Sunday!

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Date Nights Are Great Nights

The other day I got home from the gym at about 6:00 and walked in our apartment to find my wife’s body contorted upside-down on the couch so that the bottoms of her feet were facing the ceiling. Half her clothes were on the floor and there was a glass of water right next to her face. Here were the first three thoughts that went through my head:

  1. I wonder what the grace period is on getting a marriage annulled.
  2. Why are half her clothes on the floor? Why do I care why half her clothes are on the floor? (I know that’s two but in my head it was just one, trust me)
  3. Lady Gaga. Yankee Stadium. (if you don’t know, don’t Google it)

Turns out she had writers block and apparently her solution to this was to force every liter of blood in her body to flow to her head. She makes a compelling case that we should purchase a pair of these and wear them at all times.

Despite her idiosyncrasies (or maybe because of them?) I love this girl and I love dating and pursuing her. I think, as a society, we’ve turned our relational lives into this: meet, chase, date, fall, marry, settle down. This seems to be the standard “I was raised in a Christian home and I think this is what Kirk Cameron did with his life” thing to do. Well, that’s out. By the way, that was the first of many many shots at Kirk Cameron, it’s just too easy.

The pattern of our relational paradigm has gone (and will go) something like this: meet, become best friends, pursue, date, pursue some more, marry, keep pursuing, have some kids, fight to pursue, build a family, pursue into eternity.

I realized about a year ago that I was going to need to put some systems in place to help me sustain (and, sometimes when I’m less than enthused, force me to continue) all this pursuing. One of those systems is Monday night date night.

We make it a point to get out of the house (uh…I mean 600 sq. ft. apartment) the first night of every week. Sometimes we get dressed up and go to Cheesecake Factory and sometimes we just put on tanktops (yes, both of us) and go for a picnic. Each Monday is special though. It gives Jen something to look forward to, a time when she can relax and know that I’ve planned out our night and she doesn’t have to worry about cooking or cleaning or being mad about me for not doing either. It gives me an opportunity to creatively and continuously show her how much and in what ways I love her.

Obviously, I don’t always reach into our engagement week well and bust out 27-part activities for us to participate in on Mondays. But as our date nights have evolved, I’ve learned how much it means to Jen that I picture, plan out, and participate in these dates. She feels loved. I feel like a leader. Everybody wins.

What fun things do you do for date night?

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