I’ve been wanting to blog on momentum and how it affects our lives for a while now but every time I consider writing this post the only thing I can think of is Precious rolling down a hill and barreling into me like a self-propelled human avalanche. Seriously, that’s what I think of when I think “momentum.” For those of you who didn’t already move on to Yahoo or The Huffington Post or whatever you’re reading, let me be clear and say I have nothing against Precious, I haven’t seen it, I’m sure I would be inspired if I saw it, all I’m saying is that’s what pops in my head. [Jen just walked in here and read my opening paragraph and she’s furiously scrolling through her iPhone right now. I’d say there’s an 88%-89% chance she’s Googling “marital counseling” but whatever, the blog will go on.]
So, momentum. I feel like I live under its fury much of the time. In baseball when you have a good week of hitting or you pitch 2-3 stellar games in a row, it’s called “going good” as in “man, Kyle’s 10-19 this week with 3 HRs and 12 RBI, he’s really going good” (nobody ever said that about me but you get the point…)
I find marriage to be the same. When we’re “going good” then we’re really going good. Everything is clicking, witty barbs traded back and forth, sweet notes left early in the morning, him and her going out of their way to serve each other. It’s awesome, it feels very vibrant, like a piece of the sun reflecting off an amalgamation of water and mountain deep into the afternoon. It’s beautiful. And it’s as if each moment, each day is better than the one before it.
Then something snaps. Maybe it’s because I left my shoes lying somewhere I shouldn’t have. Or maybe she made the wrong thing for dinner. Or maybe we discover we’re
months years apart in our timeframe for when we want to have kids (don’t worry). But something happens, and it isn’t pretty. Then it spirals downward and it’s as if everything starts compounding, unraveling faster than PETA at a Calf Fry.
And we’re chained to it, one or the other, going good, or going really really bad. There seems to be little middle ground, often no semblance of moderation. I think it’s my job to stay level-headed and bring perspective to situations that otherwise don’t have much. But I have to say that’s difficult for me. Sometimes I just feel like Precious rolling down that mountain, for better or worse.